As husband’s and wife’s, seeking to live a Christ centered life, God has been merciful to each one of us, showing us our inadequacy in Christ constantly. He is in the constant process of cleansing and healing and thus drawing us closer to Himself. The entire world can be fooled with so called love-filled pictures and Instagram Videos, it’s only the heart of a man and a woman married in Christ who can without doubt tell for themselves, if they are truly living a life filled with eternal joy, peace and righteousness in Christ Jesus!!!

1. So my first point to why my husband is not leading me and my family, why he is not the head of my home is because ‘I think’ I am better at that. I often think that I am more creative and good with suggestions. I think that I am more careful with risk management. The path I take is mostly calculated and thus any fall is less likely. I believe that I care for the wellbeing of the children more than their daddy. Whatever be the reason of my justification or I might be utterly arrogant to simply say ‘I am more Godly’ and so I am to be the decision maker at home. Yet, when I look for answers in the Bible, I do not find any condition or exception when comes to submission. There are numerous life examples of Joseph, Daniel, Jesus who submitted to their ungodly masters and elders and pleased God with their submission. Submission is a path that I have been called to take irrespective of the spiritual or intellectual state of my husband. 

2. Why am I hesitant to allow my husband to lead is because I often say that I don’t trust his guidance yet the simple truth is ‘I don’t trust God’. I have worked with ungodly leadership and had always witnessed the hand of God in turning difficult situations for His glory. God had turned the heart of Pharoah finally to let His people go. The same God can be trusted in a marriage. If I feel I cannot trust my husband with many decisions, I am not a God fearing person because I have put my trust on man rather than on God. May our hearts seek to trust God rather. 

3. Why am I quick to take decisions into my hands and not allow my husband to do it is because I am very earthly minded. I want to see good things happen quick. I am more bothered about the current today rather than the eternal that requires wait. I am more worried about doing something good than waiting for the best. God’s will are His ways. And His way for a wife is submission. And if I do not have enough patience to wait for my husband means I do not have patience to wait for God’s will. 

4. Why am I not witnessing my husband to be a leader is because I am not allowing him to!! How can he lead if I don’t step back. How can he sit on a chair which is occupied by me. Once I leave it vacant, he will gradually come and occupy it. Do I give him a chance to lead?

Very often we try to plan something for the weekend and most of the time I feel that my ideas are better and more practical than his. Yet as the Lord has been showing me to trust Him and the secret about ‘letting it go’, it has become a more interesting and joyful journey with Christ. Recently, I heard my husband make a suggestion about going to a nearby park. The emotions and voices in my heart were – It’s drizzling, what if the children fall sick, last time Craig got Chikungunya after a mosquito bite in a park, I don’t want to us to be exposed to such an environment, it’s already late and the park might be close down anytime soon etc. All of these voices were ringing withing me. Yet the spirit said, “No” to these and “yes” to my husband. While driving the 30 mins drive, the increasing droplets of the rain made my heart faint. Yet the spirit kept on praying “Lord..!! Keep up the spirit of my husband and just because he suggested this please let us enjoy the time together”. “If possible please stop the rain and even if not please let us not fall sick” and a peace that passeth all understanding filled my heart. We had a wonderful time like none other time. God was faithful not because it was a brilliant idea yet I believe  because I submitted. 

4. Now I would tell why I want to submit. I want to look more beautiful as the years go by. As grey hair has begun popping up on my head here and there, the seriousness towards life, it’s fragility and eternity is more dear now than ever. Two days ago, lying on the bed my husband looked at me and said “you are beautiful”, I know he did not mean the external and I am sure he has begun to see the work of the Lord in my life. It’s nearly 9 years into our marriage it’s late yes yet not very late to start it afresh again. I want to look beautiful to my Savior. I want Him to call me a faithful servant and this is one of the most serious commandment given to me as a wife and woman. 

5. Lastly the flesh within me might cry that if I am right than why should I submit to my husband? Yet had it been for right and wrong, good and bad, the sin that separated man and God would not have existed. Why was the sin of wanting the fruit of evil and good considered such a great sin compared to the disobedience to God’s voice that made His chase mankind into the wild. Submission/obedience/the cross is the way, let’s take this path and leave the outcome to the Lord. He will make all things beautiful. 

6. My relationship with Christ has grown deeper and more beautiful as I have sought to submit to my husband. Because I am in need of Christ much more today than ever. Earlier I could do everything, do all that I had desired in my flesh yet now I need to trust Him, I have begun to speak to Him more. I have begun to let go of my husband more, not in a sense of leaving him yet in a sense of allowing Christ to do a work in his life independent of my being. What more can we ask of Christ if we as husband and wife individually grow in Him and seek to love each other out of the love He bestows upon us each day. It’s a beautiful.. Truly. Won’t you take this journey it with me? 

Do you see a need in your family as I have seen. Please seek God to open your eyes to see the Truth and He will lead you.