A true Christian is one who has not only peace of conscience, but war within. He may be known by his warfare as well as by his peace.

~ J C Ryle

And I asked my husband a lot of straight forward questions a couple of weeks ago.. Asking him to describe himself. He was confused and blank and so I gave him an example. I told him. I am Jesse who is outspoken and speaks a lot most of the times yet when given an choice I would love to be at home and spend time with my family more than anything.

So my husband got a hands on my question and he replied.. I am capable to speak a lot yet I choose not to. I asked him to speak further and he added. At times my flesh wants me to speak hurtful things yet I know those will do more harm than good so I choose to remain silent. I was taken aback for I recently was really happy the way our marriage was heading. We had started communicating well speaking our hearts out. Yet I realized that by this I couldn’t justify myself that since I have the freedom of expression of speech I could speak anything. I can recall numerous instances at home when I shout at Oliver and realize.. “what destructive words were those!” Just because I am a wife and a mother I cannot speak all that I want to speak. I need to walk in love – I need to long and strive to win the war within. I am a warrior and I will win this battle everyday with the help of the Holy Spirit.

May we constantly fight and win this battle within us. May we never feed the flesh that always wants to have the last say, that enjoys the fall of people, that boasts in self, that glories in good works, that is quick to speak, slow to hear and quick to anger, that is never willing to see the best in people.