This was the question I had asked my uncle two and a half year back, that’s changed my life today. God in His great love and mercy wanted me to rectify certain area of my life that wasn’t glorifying Him.
Yes, it was during the yearly sales by ‘OM’ book shop and as usual I loved to pick up some second hand Bibles and books. After completing my treasure hunt, when we were about to bill the items, my eyes fell upon this DVD, ‘The Light of God’, English with Tamil translation. It was the first time I had seen Bro. Zac obviously His photograph was on the DVD cover and I asked my Uncle, “Uncle who is Bro. Zac Poonen?” To which he replied that Bro. Zac Poonen is a preacher who speaks very strongly on ‘Holiness’. Oh ! wow that was what I needed the most…Please get me those !!! That was the beginning …
I brought it home and began listening to the things said in the DVD, things that i was unaware of, for these many years. I wanted more and searched online. One message after another, changed the entire perspective about my Spiritual life. Until then I was so sure I was right, I was spiritual. Today I can tell that it was God’s mercy that in the time of my ignorance He was very much patient with me. Because let me make this clear here, that the things that I was doing then never convicted me in any way. I am not reminded of many instances when my conscience was pricked. It could have been because I din’t have the light then.
Oh how miserable it would have been if I continued that way…..somehow over the years I had began to think that
Jesus = ministry of God …… I was ready to sacrifice anything, absolutely anything for this ministry, including my family and loved ones.
I was ready to do anything for this ministry. I was sincere and did almost all things fearing that if I did anything wrong, God wouldn’t use me, or I would lose my anointing. Most of the time my spirituality was only external. The age of 15-16 saw a total of 180 degree change in my exterior looks, behavior etc. People were shocked, friends were confused and I was all happy thinking I was getting spiritual…. Yet the cup inside was still dirty, dirty to the core.
The truths that I began to receive from God through Bro. Zac began the process of the internal cleansing. Most of the time it would be I and the computer screen alone …for hours….listening ..listening …. It was during this time that I began reading the word of God more deeply and God began to reveal wonderful truth from His word.
There are miles to go before I sleep and many things yet to be mended…still I am moving on….! The words specially about spiritual blindness and hypocrisy was what deeply touched me that I began being conscious of many of my acts that were purely hypocritical. Oh ! the love that saved me !!!
God bless Bro. Zac and Sis. Annie Poonen. Today I know that
Jesus=Jesus alone 🙂
As said by John Wesley “When I was young I was sure of everything; in a few years, having been mistaken a thousand times, I was not half so sure of most things as I was before; at present, I am hardly sure of anything but what God has revealed to me”
New areas in my life are being exposed by God today that need mending. God kept it away from me all these years knowing that I wasn’t ready then. Oh Lord, help me pass this test tooo.