The day I surrendered all !!!

Salem, yes Salem I can never forget that place.. year 2006 and the month of April. During one of the CBS training camps, it was a Sunday morning and Uncle was preaching in a local church. Pr. Kanta Rao was pastoring that church. It was during the worship time that God spoke to me.

Let’s rewind the reel and see a little bit of the background story !!!

All I could remember was that even at the age of five, I knew what I wanted to become. I had this strong desire to become a ‘Police Inspector’.  Never did this desire waver nor was there any change in it during the next ten years. I was determined. As I was in Scouts and guides, smart bold .. oh very very bold! I remember this incident, during the regular music classes, we students were supposed to remove our shoes and it was only then that we were allowed to enter inside the room. So one day, my dear sister Ruth, she must have been in her 1st or 2nd standard entered into  my class all nervous and sad. Upon enquiring  she told me that someone had stolen her shoes. And you know what did this jesse did?? She took her back to the music room and since many pairs of shoes were lying there, I told Her to choose any that fits her legs. My justification was that since the music teacher couldn’t protect Ruth’s shoe, so even I had the right to take someone else’s shoe. Another incident – another day Ruth came crying to me that someone had either scolded or hit her. So I rushed from my class like a roaring lion and my gang behind me to ‘ deal ‘ with that person who had hurt my little sister…..!!

Just coming back to the narration again. Many people had told me that I had this broad shoulders and so was made to join the defense service. I was strong too as during the shot-put competitions I would always bring back home a cup … matlab I would win a prize …:) Whereas Ruth, she kept on switching from doctor, teacher then miss universe….she was not very sure about what she wanted to become…as for me .. was sure of it …. an ‘IPS Officer’!!!

Now coming back to the church scene…. before Uncle could preach he had told me to give a short testimony on how God had blessed me in my 10th public examination by making me secure 90%. He was supposed to translate it to Tamil as back then I din’t know a single word of Tamil. So, I had my eyes closed and was praying, the local Pastor was leading us all.  I can still remember that day..oh Blessed day !!! I was seated very close to the altar, and during the worship time ..a Voice spoke within me ..”jesse have you surrendered everything to me !!” I knew that I was holding on to this thing…..yet I replied to that Voice..yes of course!! I have given up my jewelries, my ugly past, everything Lord !!

The Voice spoke again … “Everything”?

I knew I was holding on to my Isaac, and that I was not willing to surrender my ambition to God. No!! how could I !! It was something I dreamt of day and night !! For 10 long years , I wanted to become an IPS officer… or at least an Airforce officer !!

I knew what God was pointing at…. I din’t want to let it go and i began weeping, weeping aloud. Finally the Holy Spirit broke the yoke and  released it all…. “Lord take it ” I said.

I will serve You full time ..I will …. just like a bride says to her bridegroom in their marriage ….’I will’ !!!


This was one of the toughest decision I had ever taken in my life. And after the worship, I was supposed to give the 10th exam waala testimony..yet now …. I had a new testimony ..a new one !!!

since then I have never turned back….!!

Today when I see any man in his khaki clothing. It reminds me of my past, while many people are repelled by this police department ..I love them- i respect them all. God too had given me an opportunity to meet the commissioner of Police Mr. T.Rajender for my college assignment. Then I had another encounter with a few policemen in the Triplicane Police station. Again during my post graduation days along with my 4 other friends we made a documentary “Bless You Prison” based on the life of  a murderer who got released from the Puzhal prison. He was such a kind man, during the shoot he helped us by carrying our tripod stand 🙂

And not to forget this ….  today I help the ‘prison for prostitutes’ and would be going tomorrow to teach the Hindi speaking girls  the dance ‘ Pray for India’ for Independence Day celebration .

I salute the police department for all the risk they take to protect this nation of mine !!

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