Are you struggling with something today please do not give up and yield to the circumstances, never Quit…….Just obey GOD and HE will make you victorious in such a way that your very test would become your Testimony.
For those who have known the ‘X’jesse, my greatest struggle / weakness was my bondage to worldliness. For my generation and my age, I was far into the world. I was an extreme worldly girl, not just speaking about the physical aspect- it was internal – I needed an internal deliverance and healing. Until today people find it difficult to comprehend this GREAT change since I was born(again).
It is God alone who has brought about this change in me almost immediately after my salvation. Yes, it did take a while for the scales to get peeled off the onion. I would be tempted every now and then initially, it was later that the Holy Spirit provided me with a very fierce courage to take a bold and radical steps.
For e.g. Though I had stopped all external decorations, yet I had safely kept every item in a plastic bag safe inside my cupboard. This did tempt me and one final day the Holy Spirit gave me the courage to take that plastic bag out of the cupboard tie it up and give it a good throw into the nearby bush, and never to think about it again. I believe with that the temptation disappeared. Truly we need to work out our salvation with fear and trembling with the grace of God.
An undisciplined life is like a tide up and down. It takes us, to work our salvation with fierceness and with His help alone. Sin is evil and deceitful, and thus you need to be radical while dealing with it. Speaking soothing words wouldn’t help, trust me. Recently also, nearly 5-6 months ago, there was this craze within me to wear saree and so, I would consciously / unconsciously observe the saree material and pattern worn by ladies everywhere. I did not make my thoughts my slave and I would have fallen terribly, if not for the grace of God. The Holy Spirit pointed out the direction I was heading to. One final day, while I was in a prayer meeting and even there I was being tempted to look at the sarees worn by the sisters and after another 5 minutes, I came to my senses and I cried out…WHAT…..LORD ….what am I doing ? I repented and sought God’s grace and He liberated me that day and with that day, I am liberated..!! Since then I had to reestablish my covenant with my eyes – ‘not to look at a thing ‘TWICE’
Today, truly God has beautifully liberated me and I can tell this with Godly boldness that ‘am no more tempted by anything earthly ( material ). It is all His grace and thus I can confess it. Moreover, just like the Israelites in the desert, their cloths remained unfaded not sandals untorn. God so wonderfully helps me use an item ( dresses, bags, sandals, bike, hmmmmm etc etc ) for years together…!! I have a habit to take out a dress and show Uncle and ask him ‘do you know when did you get me this dress…? ‘as usual he would wonder and then I would tell him, ‘2 years….3 years…still so new and bright.’ 😉 and there is no lust of wearing new dresses for each occasion, probably God has placed me in an atmosphere where these things do not matter at all.
Remember this thing, you must have heard testimonies of people and many must have really challenged you….You know why ? Why are certain testimonies so powerful and anointed..!! Because of the real work of the POTTER !! It’s one thing to be a good/clean vessel from the beginning, it’s another thing to have the POTTER’S hand again upon an unconstructive and useless vessel. The second does bring out a testimony so powerful. WHY? The second can speak of it’s – pain and struggle during the process. It has a powerful story to narrate.
Once, long back I had heard Bro. Zac speak about this freedom from legalism!! To come to a place, where, nothing that the other person wears/not wears would disturb you!! Probably I can again tell this to encourage you. God has also brought me to this place – External appearance has almost become invisible to this eyes of mine ( as long as I dwell in His grace) and God helps me to interact with everyone equally. It was not so, earlier….!!I do not shrink my eyes when I see another person wearing something that I would never dare to wear. I dress as the Lord guides me judging my intension and attitude by the conviction of the Holy Spirit in my spirit.
Ahhh, am not a churidar girl – no – no if I am to choose I would like to wear dresses worn by the British women – the decent and gracious ones 😉 especially the Duchess of Cambridge 😉 secret revealed. I did try one in Shillong, i asked everyone at home am I looking like Kate. Ok ok not serious just kidding, can’t I ??
Even now God is leading me through a path which I had never thought I would go through..!! Hope soon it will become my testimony and then I would boldly confess it. It’s not easy, it’s difficult yet it’s not impossible either.
My struggles include
– Is it God’s will ? or
– Is it God preventing me from doing something that’s not His will.
– Is God breaking me? or
– Am I reaping the fruits of my foolish acts?
All types of thoughts. It’s definitely not lack of faith…..!! Only one thing that comforts me is
He is Trustworthy !!
Everyday nearly 3-4 young people contact me and ask me to pray for the same things that I am actually struggling with. Sometimes..even while speaking to them I receive an answer to my own question and other times, I am exposed with my own foolish acts when I rebuke them for theirs. Yet, soon I just hope this too will pass away and there will be a conclusion to this T2 Phenome