“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Gen 2:24 – One flesh!! It has taken us nearly 4 ½ years and we are still trying to comprehend what God says here. So, it’s no longer you or me! Ah and recently I did correct (actually wronged) my husband when he said ‘we will work on this’ and I emphasized – “NO! you need to work on this!! It’s a battle against the flesh to realize that we are now – one flesh!
It’s no longer – I made a mistake or you did it wrong! It’s WE did it wrong! Why is Oliver behaving the way he shouldn’t – because WE have failed in seeking God’s grace in correcting him! Why is my husband or wife still battling with the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – because WE haven’t humbled ourselves and sought God’s grace to make us overcomers in every battle in our lives. It’s no longer I yet WE!
My childhood revolved around friends! I loved going to school for I enjoyed every moment with my friends – studying, eating lunch, playing and doing all the mischief one could ever think of. I was not at all a home-person. I would force Mummy to send me to school even if there was some kind of a political tension around. Days of heavy rains and hailstorm would be the best of the days as I would get plenty of time with my friends at school as many would not come to school on such days. Friendship was the dearest of all relationship I had ever treasured!!
Today while I would still wish all of my friends a happy friendship day each year – there is one dearer to my soul who has replaced them all! My husband is my Best Friend. I can share everything with him and I need to! We are one! I cannot create compartments in my life and tell him – see stay out of this area, it’s not for you! By that I nullify the very Word of God being One flesh! It was not so for quite some time in our marriage and we term those years as the ‘miserable days’ today. Just recently we had a conversation about those early years of our lives which were truly miserable! We were strangers to each other. At least I was! I had masked my emotions/likes/dislikes/convictions and would pretend to be someone not realizing that the light of such a stage would soon dim out! And yes it did! Praise God to His Faithfulness! Every weekend we would run to and fro meeting people sometimes genuinely helping others and having a broad smile on our faces yet there was no outflow from our life – there was no fire and freshness. Yes, we had our testimonies to share yet God is not only a God of the past! We yearned for the fresh work of God in our lives. We were battling a lot of things – there were tough circumstances we were going through and we did pray about it now and then yet these were masked up by a layer of clothing which we did not get rid of! Bible says – Adam and Eve were naked! It might sound a little cliché to use such a phrase yet – This is the Word of God ! Adam and Eve were naked and they weren’t ashamed! We too had sought to live a Godly life – we were surrounded by Godly saints – yet God’s Best for our marriage wasn’t still there! We weren’t naked to each other – we were two flesh not one! I liked my husband – I loved him too yet I did not cherish him – I did not enjoy him and did not long for him!!!
It’s been nearly 1 ½ years and we have been experiencing a freshness in our marriage as never before. Recently while during our Guwahati trip at my parents place – Mummy even questioned me – “what do you guys have so much to talk up until late night – what stories were you telling?” Oh yes..! After the children go to bed – we do not waste a minute yet choose to relax and speak out our hearts to each other! I love to listen to all that my husband has to share with what happened at his workplace and his automations – Oh by now I know almost all the tools he has worked with !! I too just cherish these moments where I can just share my day with him – what all I had to go through during the day – what’s my heart’s burden and desire and what we need to pray about ! We have started seeking God’s grace earnestly to fulfill His will for our lives together. We dream together and we also tenderly help each other with our fears, insecurities and struggles… Yes.. almost EVERYTHING! As best friends we get to live the life we have chosen for ourselves! I would definitely later write about how holding strong convictions as couples can make our lives so challenging that we could boast like Paul – follow me like I follow Christ !
And yes the days when we are both exhausted or we would have planned to go out and couldn’t have made it to be able to sit and spend some quality time with each other – we term those days as incomplete days! And the day following such a day looks dull and boring! I could go on writing on this yet it’s a wonderful life to live this way! Marriage can never be glorious if we do not have fellowship with each other first! A Husband-Wife is the greatest-boldest-strongest team ever on Earth! I wish to live this way and grow in love in the coming days! I also wish the same for every marriage united by Christ. May God show us our need and fill us afresh with the Holy Spirit to live a glorious overcoming life on this Earth – this Earthly life being our only chance to show our gratitude to our Saviour and King Jesus Christ!!
2 thoughts on “Is he your best friend?”
Thank you for sharing this. Very helpful to build our marriage too
Its a beautiful piece of words stringed together into a blog.
I can feel the emotions you must have felt with every little para you wrote.
Keep up the good work Jesse…. Love to see you blossoming into a great writer…